Married By Choice

If you’re married, do you remember when it seemed like nothing could get between the love you shared with your now husband? I sure do! I remember us saying “It’s us against the world”, mostly because when we started dating my parents were strict and didn’t know I had a boyfriend, so we snuck around a bit.

Since getting married my husband and I have been through more ups and downs in our marriage than we could have ever imagined or even prepared for before we said, “I do”. All we knew is that we loved each other and wanted to spend our lives together. We may have been “young” to some people (23 & 25 years old), but we know what we wanted, and we felt our relationship was strong enough to whether the highs and lows of marriage.

A little over 8 years into our marriage and we have had our fair share of highs and lows. Arguments, laughter, silent treatments, joy, tears, fears and comfort are things we have experienced throughout our marriage, but I cannot say we were anywhere near prepared for many of them. Some things we handled well, while others led to things becoming worse. Our deepest lows had to do with not trusting and seeking the creator of marriage to begin with. Many times, we tried to do it all on our own.

In the book, A Lifelong Love, Gary Thomas says “a good marriage isn’t something you find; it’s something you make. And you have to keep on making it”. One thing’s for certain, through everything, my husband and I have chosen to fight for our marriage. To work on our flaws and to be open to seeing things from the other persons perspective. Effectively communicating. Excepting that sometimes neither of our ways was the correct way. This hasn’t always been easy. Marriage was never meant to be easy. It takes improving on yourself and working together to make your marriage stronger and “keep on making it” better. Most of all, for us personally, that glue that has always helped us through it all is having Jesus in our lives, especially when we didn’t feel like trying.

Whether you’re married or not, I encourage you to always work hard in the relationship you’re in. Make sure you both have the same mindset in staying focused and wanting to make your relationship a strong one. That you are both always willing to help each other improve in and outside of yourselves. Many times, that will look like dying to our own pride and self-centered ways. Be each other’s best friend no matter what. Love is a choice. Having a good (not perfect) marriage is a choice. It’s up to each spouse to make those choices and put in the work to “make it” happen.

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